Sunday, December 16, 2012

Weathering the Storms

"She stood in the storm, 
and when the wind did not blow her way, 
she adjusted her sails."

- Elizabeth Edwards

I'm attempting to document an authentic Peace Corps experience, authentic life serving in Jamaica, and authentic humanity. However, because I am writing as an employee of the American Government and because I have to consider our safety as foreigners, I cannot share every last thought and event with you. Please bear this in mind as you read this post.

morning run in Negril, Westmoreland

I said goodbye to Rosend on Monday past. A few things have been eating away at my mental stability over the past few months. After spending a splendidly calm and introspective weekend with my Safety & Security Coordinator's family, I called my Program Manager on Monday morning to gain insight on perspective. I wanted to know if the things I have been wrestling with are unique to me or something that most PCVs struggle with here in Ja. Turns out that they are unique.

My more-than-supportive PM gave me exactly 5 hours to gather everything and inform the appropriate parties that I would not be returning to site. I've been marinating my thoughts in the option of a site change for weeks now. But I've been holding onto one thing: relationships. Relationships with the children in my yard and relationships with my incredible site mates. Unfortunately, the cons eventually outweighed the pros.

Thus, I have to move on, to a new place on the Jam Rock.

For now, this means living out of suitcases (again). It means starting all over (again) in a new place. But it also means the opportunity for growth in a different way than I could have predicted. And it means continuing to trust in that which I cannot see or explain.

I'm adjusting my sails and begging the wind to continue blowing.

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